It's been a little over five years since this wilderness journey started. Now the darkest hours are still ahead. I hope the old saying is true it's darkest just before dawn. My son has been homeless or close to it for a year, and is down to a bicycle. My other son has had trouble getting and keeping jobs and his car is on it's last legs. I have been unemployed this time for a year. My wife is sick and barely hanging on to her job. The pressure is unbearable. My church is unsympathetic, so I left it. That leaves me cold and alone in this journey. I am just at my wits end some times. I think God has finally had it with me and has turned his back. Everything I have done for the past 5 1/2 years has lead nowhere. Things are just getting worse. I struggle to pray and maintain my faith.

Goodbye to all the friends I've met on the stream. Thanks for all your prayers and support. Blessings.

I am enjoying Saturday again as its my first one since I started my new job. I really think I found a lasting career this time. But, only God knows. Its been 5 years since that fateful decision to quit my 19 year job and start a business. Five years in the wilderness. In retrospect the wilderness started long before but I was too comfortable to see it. I have learned much through that time. It was a shaking of my faith and a test of my faith. I have a new understanding of God. I see that my life was self centered and me focused. That is not true Christianity. That is wanting God to serve you when its the other way around. Well I press on toward the goal, this time prayerfully back on the track not wondering in the wilderness.

Started a new job selling digital imaging, used to be only copiers and printers. It is decent base good commission structure and other perks. I have started half a dozen jobs since I left my job of 20 years to start my own business. Well that maybe the new normal.

I realize it's been a while since I last posted. Still in the job hunt that occupies most of my time. Involved in networking groups and volunteer stuff. Over the years my arduous journey is starting to attract many fellow travelers. Many are wondering and questions God right now as the old paradigms are being toppled. I hope I can help them through.