I once heard a story. In Africa the way the trap monkey's is to put grains of food inside hollowed out gourds. The monkey's come and stick their hand inside to get the food. But as the grab the food they make a fist. Then they are unable to pull their hand out because the fist around the food is wider than the opening they put their hand through. Thus unless they let go they will never be free.

I got out of bed this morning and I was a little bit angry at God. I have been praying (as noted in the many posts on this blog) and yet all I get is silence. I am frustrated and don't want any other way out except a breakthrough with God. I want to sort out all the stuff and get to the place where Paul was:
Php 4:6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Php 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Why can't I get there??????

As I wander through my desert, I can't help but reflect on Proverbs 22:28 " Do not remove the old landmark which your fathers have set. " I wonder if in all our contemporary churches, books and teachings we've tried to be "too hip" and in so doing have lost something? Maybe our way? Just a thought.

This was so wonderful I had to share it in case you haven't heard it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zCdZwitrNoY

I know the world thinks of God as the wizard of Oz a powerless fraud.

Mat 27:51a And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.

I know that the separation between my God and me has been removed because of the finished work of Jesus. I want so much to walk into that Holy place and meet with the Lord just like the priests did. I want to understand the dynamic of the Holy Spirit.

In the lonely dark night of my soul that I'm now traversing, I still have these hopes.

I know that I once saw a lighthouse on the shore and I followed it. I shipwrecked on the rocks and now I'm holding on to the last floating pieces of that sunken boat and wondering - why?

Am I stuck in Oz, headed back to Kansas, or heaven??