When beginning this blog I titled it Christian Wilderness Experience. I was in the wilderness. I wanted to journal the feelings and experiences, that a seeker goes through. I never want to pull punches or spin things for God. I just wanted honesty. I did think for a while it would end with my wife finishing this after my suicide. It was that bad. But now even though nothing has changed much in my financial or career situation, my journey in Christ has definitely turned a corner. (Thanks June and Ron for your prayers!)

Let me say it this way:

Psalm 78:52-54 But made his own people to go forth like sheep, and guided them in the wilderness like a flock. And he led them on safely, so that they feared not: but the sea overwhelmed their enemies. And he brought them to the border of his sanctuary, even to this mountain, which his right hand had purchased.

Praise God!!!

I'm starting a new venture tomorrow. It should be a great opportunity. It's in the global trade business. That should be a good area in today's economy!

Through out my journey of the last couple of years I have been looking, listening and waiting for a word for God. It hasn't happened, in the human way of understanding sense. I may hear from God. I may not. All I know is, "We win." A modern day prophet spoke to me the other day and said, "The thrill of the fall is over when you land." Think of this life like a ride at the amusement park more final rest home. That is a better way to view life. Anyway look at it this way it like watching a taped sporting event it's not in doubt if you know the outcome. So just watch, observe and serve.

I was meditating on Psalm 80 this morning. I have exhausted myself this week. I am disparate for a job. But God seems to deny my plea's. I really liked the word "beseech," in the psalm this morning it pretty much sums up my prayers. As another week goes by I get depressed. I used to like the weekends, but now they are just another day. I have no sense of purpose anymore. That kind of thing feeds on its self, and becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Beseech the Lord for me.
Thanks,
Dave