Its been a dry spell at my new job. A lot of sales haven't come through. Prospects aren't looking that great either. We are just barely making it financially after losing a business. I'm praying harder than ever. Then, on Monday I get the news my mom had a stroke and probably won't make it. I have to keep my eyes on Jesus every second or I will sink under the waves. God is guiding me through troubled waters he ordained for a reason. I don't understand any of this in human reason of course. But, I still believe in Him and want to love and praise Him in the midst of this. As hard as it is.

I once heard a story. In Africa the way the trap monkey's is to put grains of food inside hollowed out gourds. The monkey's come and stick their hand inside to get the food. But as the grab the food they make a fist. Then they are unable to pull their hand out because the fist around the food is wider than the opening they put their hand through. Thus unless they let go they will never be free.

I got out of bed this morning and I was a little bit angry at God. I have been praying (as noted in the many posts on this blog) and yet all I get is silence. I am frustrated and don't want any other way out except a breakthrough with God. I want to sort out all the stuff and get to the place where Paul was:
Php 4:6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Php 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Why can't I get there??????

As I wander through my desert, I can't help but reflect on Proverbs 22:28 " Do not remove the old landmark which your fathers have set. " I wonder if in all our contemporary churches, books and teachings we've tried to be "too hip" and in so doing have lost something? Maybe our way? Just a thought.

This was so wonderful I had to share it in case you haven't heard it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zCdZwitrNoY