I just don't know how to communicate with God. My church did a 4 week series on prayer and I'm as in the dark as I was before. I read several books and went to consolers and sought advice. I read the bible daily and pray hours. I still feel unconnected somehow. There's no unconfessed sin or anything like that. Other than the normal struggles with sin. I don't feel the presence of God. I can't give up. There is no other way. I read a few books on this, none seemed to help. I don't know if there is an answer. I have to keep looking tough. Like the disciples: John 6:68- Then Simon Peter answered Him, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the Words of eternal life.

I learned a lot from a guy sitting outside of Starbucks. He has been observing my odyssey in the darkness about once a week for 10 months. The other day he said something that really stuck. He said, "The teacher doesn't talk during the test." I am fairly sure that was God speaking through him to me.

I often wonder if I draw to tight or too loose a line around what is core beliefs and what is negotable. Let me know? What's accepatble what's not.Only within Christian faith, I have eliminated all other belief systems.
Outside the faith or not?

Morman's
Jevohah Witness's
Catholic's
Oneness Pentaocostal's
Jew's

What makes right with God?

I'm reading Philip Yancey's book "Prayer: Does it Make a Difference." I'm sure that my current prayer struggle is not unique. I suppose that when God is silent there's a good reason. I have developed a longing to pray. Funny how that is God is silent when I need Him most and I pray more. This no job thing is wearing me down. Coming on the heels of a business failure (one I'm sure God lead me into) it's going on 9 months now. I could have had a baby in this time! I had a baby alright, a 10 pound bouncing baby boy named "Despair."

I always liked this song. Although the writer seems to have taken a different path since writing this. I still like it.

You said you'd come and share all my sorrows,
You said you'd be there for all my tomorrows,
I came so close to sending you away
But just like you promised you came there to stay.
I just had to pray.

Chorus
And Jesus said come to the water, stand by my side.
I know you are thirsty,You won't be denied.
I felt every tear drop when in darkness you cried,
And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.

Your goodness so great I can't understand.
And dear Lord I know that all this was planned.
I know you're here now and always will be.
Your love loosed my chains and in You I'm free.
But, Jesus, why me?

Chorus
And Jesus said come to the water,stand by my side.
I know you are thirsty,You won't be denied.
I felt every tear drop when in darkness you cried,
And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.

Jesus, I give you my heart and my soul.
I know that without God I'd never be whole.
Savior, you opened all the right doors,
And I thank you and praise you from earth's humble shores.
Take me, I'm yours.

Chorus
And Jesus said come to the water,stand by my side.
I know you are thirsty,You won't be denied.
I felt every tear drop when in darkness you cried,
And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.